Monday, July 28, 2008 Tamzin lets non-sleeping babies cry...

34 weeks

When I saw my midwife the other day she had a feel of my tummy and said that the reason I still look so small is because the baby’s head is right down where it should be at 38 weeks! She wasn’t worried but now I keep thinking she’s going to come early.

Tonight I’ve been having some really uncomfortable pains and it really feels like she’s trying to push her head even further down. I was actually gasping with the pain earlier and my Mum got quite worried but I’m sure it’s not anything, there’s too much other movement and they’re supposed to get quieter before you give birth....aren’t they?!!

The other thing my midwife said was that they do get the sex wrong sometimes which I knew but hadn’t really thought about much and now I keep thinking how weird it would be if I had a boy! I wouldn’t mind at all but it would be strange because – well, because it’s a girl! She’s very firmly in my mind, Isla’s little sister, my 2 little girls, I see us in the future with our two daughters etc. It would be a shock; I think I better have a few boys names on stand by.

A while ago I wrote about how badly Isla was sleeping and it continued on and off until four nights ago. I finally did what I never wanted to do and that was not go into her at all when she started crying. It was soooooooooo hard, I lay there listening to her and feeling like I had someone twisting my heart (dramatic, but that’s what it’s like isn’t it?) until she went back to sleep – 50 minutes the first night 40 the next and since then she’s slept through, is it going to continue? I’ll let you know! It was horrible but if it’s worked I shall do it much earlier with the next one! I did go in to check her as soon as she went back to sleep, just to make sure she was ok!

You feel so cruel but as someone said to me recently they don’t have any conception of time, they’re not like us checking the clock and saying ‘hmmm I’ve been crying now for 10 – 12 – 16 – 30 minutes’ and you can tell with the cry whether there’s anything really the matter. It was never a desperate cry, just a ‘I’m awake and I want my Mum to come and stroke my brow’ cry. I do feel bad but I tell you what , we are all loving our good night’s sleep now!